Don't do this.

I knew from the start that my self-defense class that I took at the community college in 2005 was a joke. There was no way that I would remember all these complex moves if an attacker came at me. Plus, when I tried practicing the moves with my mom or my sister, Alisha, it never worked out. They would come after me with a butter knife or scissors and I would just back away slowly with nervous laughter. Yeah, not something my teacher told us to do.
With that said, it's about 2 a.m. the other night and I was still up. I swear, my body thinks it will be cool to try this thing called insomnia... it's really not all that it's cracked up to be. I was watching a movie on my laptop when I decide I need a drink of water.
I leave the lights off in my bedroom and use the light from my laptop to lead my way to the bathroom. I turn on the heater, because it's freezing in the Hong house, and listen to the loud hum of the heater as I try to get my eyes adjusted enough to the light to find a cup to get my drink. I stay a little longer in the bathroom to bask in the heat before I make the short yet cold trip back to my bedroom.
I follow the glowing apple from the back of my laptop and begin crawling onto my bed. As I make my way across my bed my hand feels something hard under the blankets. It feel like a leg. To my surprise I didn't scream, hit it or run....or even have nervous laughter for that matter. I just pulled my hand away quickly and sat on the back of my heals thinking who put a dead body in my bed? I reached my hand out again to the leg to see if it really was what I thought it was - I hadn't decided what my next plan would be. As I touch it again I hear my mom starting to laugh as she pulls the covers away from her head.
Seriously, moms think they're sooo stinkin' funny!